My husband and I have been married for seven years this September and do not have children. I've had many conversations with family, friends, and even strangers about this. It can be a weird conversation for anyone to have. I think with time, we have changed in that we do not assume that once people get married they start popping out babies automatically, but it's in one way or another in the back of people's minds. 

I have never had the warm and urgent I-want-to-be-a-mom feeling. My mother has told me a few times that she does not understand how I am her daughter. She raised five of us and would do it again in a heartbeat. She has told us over and over again and I know will never stop telling us about how much joy we bring her. I am forever grateful for having a mother who loves her children in such a deep way that in many ways it is beyond comprehension. Her love is unwavering and comes from a place so rich and pure. My mother is my hero. 

I can only hope that I could be the hero to my possible kids in the future in the way that my mother is mine. I can only hope that I could love them so intently and so fully the way my mother has. I am thankful that the five of us have the best model of a mother possible when we may venture into parenthood. 

My oldest sister, Hannah, is now a mother to her daughter, Riley. My family waited for the day when the first grandchild would be born, and here she is - as perfect as she ever could be. For some reason, I imagined Hannah becoming a completely different person when she had Riley. As if my mother were a completely different person before she met us. But that is not the case at all. Hannah is still the most determined, hardworking, energetic, friendly, optimistic sister I've always known - only now, she gets to share her vivacious spirit with her daughter. She is still Hannah in every way, but she has become more. I've seen the love in her grow exponentially within the last two months, as she navigates through the new waves of parenthood. She and her husband Erik are discovering the incredible gift of creating a human being and the deep love that comes with it. 

I can't say that Riley has given me baby fever, but I will say that I never imagined I would love this little baby so much. She is only two months old and she has completely melted my heart. 

I've seen in watching my sister that parenthood brings the deepest most beautiful parts of you out. That the love that she has for Riley is more beautiful and more fulfilling than she could have imagined. I am so proud of her and Erik and cannot wait to watch as they become Riley's biggest heroes. In the greatest way, they already are - they gave her the gift of life. And what a life she is going to live with those two as her parents. 

2 Comments